Intense indeed! Thank you very much!
If it was a rock draw, the one person I would have wanted to go is Cole. He was the most stubborn of them all and wouldn't do what I wanted. Plus knows my game more than most people so hopefully he explains it to the jury more. He may hate me now though
However, I did not want to go to rocks. It's obvious that my extra vote would have prevented it, but that's just hindsight. I thought for sure Cole, Patrick, or Simone would have flipped on Kim cause they've all talked about it in the past. And also, if I used my extra vote it would have thrown everyone off guard and an idol may have come out. AND now I get to save my extra vote for this next one to force another rock draw (
) or some other time. I'm hoping it'll be something I whip out that no one expects and it buys me a bit of points with the jury.
I know I have a target on my back now more than ever, but I wouldn't have made the move if I didn't think I could manage it. I'm pretty sure I have Matt and Roark on my side. Patrick has also been telling me he forgives me, and I want to believe him, but still hard for me to trust that he trusts me
I'm also praying that Kim, Simone, and Patrick all see that it's pointless to go after me, cause that would only benefit Christina if the target is off of her. I'm praying that they are using their brains. So yea, I think my 4 are Matt, Roark, myself, and either Christina or Patrick. Everyone's telling me what I want to hear right now, but we all know I'm way too paranoid of a person to believe it
My chances of winning earlier today were like 4%. I think it has jumped up
slightly, still low though. Maybe like 14%. I believe I have a decent shot of getting to the end, but to win I need to be there with Roark and one of Patrick/Matt if I want to win. And even then my chances are slim. It's so hard to know how the jury feels right now, but I assume if it was Patrick, Roark, Me at the final 3 (my ideal group), I'd get the following votes:
Jonas - YES. I didn't betray him (even though I voted for him) and we were really close. He probably has the highest chance of voting for me.
Chrissy - MAYBE. I know she hates Patrick, and I was the only person that didn't vote for her to go. But she was hurt when I didn't tell her about the idol. Julie could probably be feeding her fake news about me.
Ali - MAYBE. I hurt her bad. Like it was dirty how I threw her to the curb. My only hope is that she recognizes the game I played, which she may very well.
Julie - NO. She has a very delusional hatred for me. Like I honestly have no idea why. Oh wait maybe it was cause I voted her out
BUT that was after she went all crazy on me so I have no idea where Julie will vote. Not counting on her voting me.
Cole - MAYBE. He's probably pissed I indirectly sent him home. I know he didn't want us to turn on Kim yet so he probably disagrees with the move. However, we were really close. I hope he's rooting for me.
Kim - NO. I seriously feel so bad that I hurt her so much. I don't want her to hate me, but she probably does. This is the one I'm upset about betraying the most.
Christina - MAYBE. She's been pumping me up lately, telling me I'm finally looking good in the jury's eyes, but I'm about 90% sure she's just telling me what I want to hear. She'd probably vote for Patrick cause for some reason she thinks he's been running the show (Am I the delusional one? Why does everyone think Patrick is running things?)
Simone - MAYBE. She'd probably vote for Patrick too, but I really don't know. She laughed at my face after tonight's tribal so I would not be surprised if she thought it was a dumb decision.
Matt - YES. I'd like to think he'd vote for me cause we've been close the whole merge and we've been in the same boat kinda. Hope he sees the game I've played.
Overall, that's better chances that I thought before I wrote it all down. All those Maybes though. It'll be interesting for sure.
The biggest threat to win is now Christina. She's proven to be crazy strong in challenges and she has her idol. Our only chances of getting her out are if she doesn't win the last couple challenges really. I also think Kim's chances of winning have increased after tonight. She's safe and I'm less focused on her. I might be the next big target so maybe I was just playing 4D chess and really wanted Kim to win this game the entire time
nah... Simone also has a good chance of winning.
My ideal final 3 is Patrick and Roark. Roark I don't think would get many people's votes (if any), and Patrick seems to be hated by most of the current jury. I know a lot of folks think Patrick is running things though and that could win votes. I just think bringing Patrick, who's hated, is better than bringing Matt, Christina's ally and isn't hated by anyone really.
As much as I'm trying to put together "my side", I don't think the sides are defined. The smartest thing right now is for all of us to go after Christina. Other than that, it could be seen as Kim/Simone vs Ryan/Roark.
Thank you for the words of encouragement. This season has seriously been very rough for me, and even though I know my chances of winning are low, I'm going to keep doing what I think is best. And I'm content with that at least.
